Yes, our census forms have arrived.
Two, in fact - one arrived for my office, which highlighted that one of the few things it doesn't ask is "Is this a residential property at all?". Thus, there is in fact no valid answer for this form. Tempted as I am to write back and refuse to respond, so as to trigger a prosecution for failing to answer a census that offers no valid options for response, we are returning it with a brief note.
Anyway, I have issues with four questions, as follows, in reverse order of seriousness.
First, there is no question about how many dogs we have, or any personal questions for the dog. How will we know how many dogs there are? How? What if government needs this information?? HOW WILL WE KNOW???!!
Second, I am being discriminated against in the form of question 17. Apparently, question 17 for those in Wales is to ask whether or not they speak Welsh. It is illegal to speak Welsh outside Wales? What if I spoke Welsh and was proud of it? How well do I need to speak it? (I can pronounce Dolgellau* half-decently - is that enough?) I want to be asked whether or not I speak Welsh. I may write in the answer "No, not really, if I'm honest".
Third, there is the religion question. I'm not embarrassed about it or anything, I just think it's none of their business. But the question is optional, so I won't be answering it. Of course, if the question will not be answered by all, what is its value? How will we know...? (etc)
Finally, the question asks for my ethnic group. Now I have a real problem. My approach to racial equality is quite simple; I don't care what colour you are. I care whether you are a decent human being. If you're rude, or offensive, or boring, or untrustworthy, then I won't wish to be friends. If you're lazy, or incompetent, or untrustworthy, then I won't be employing you. Whether you are white, black, yellow, brown, red, pink or green** makes not a jot of difference. So as soon as I am asked what my ethnic group is, I am suspicious; the person asking is interested in it, in a way that I am not.
There is also a practical issue. As you go back in my family tree, it becomes distinctly vague, and it does so very quickly. I seem to be mainly light-skinned, but not as light as others. Maybe that's because I prefer to be outdoors where possible, and because my preferred driving style is "with the roof down". Or maybe there is a genetic reason. I (literally) don't know.
In addition, there is the simple scientific fact that, ultimately, my ethnic background is from the Rift Valley in Africa. Just like all of you, whether you like it or not.
So my answer to this question will be "Human".
*Doll -geth -lee
**OK, I might object if you're green